AndreThis is not a space where you’re being sold anything. This is not a space that has any expectations of you. This is not a space to make you envious of anything you feel you don’t have. This is not a space to make you question your worthiness, your choices or even your existence. This is not a ‘you have to’ space, or one to trigger comparisons between you and anyone else.
AndreI have three children. Twins, who are almost 18 months old, and a 5 year old. All boys. For any parent reading this, you know that weekends can sometimes feel like a humongous physical, emotional and mental test. Don’t get me wrong, I cherish my children deeply, and I’m so proud of my family and incredibly grateful for the life I have. But weekends, at least recently, have been tough. After long days at work, I miss those relaxing, peaceful, worry free, mess free, quiet and spontaneous weekends by myself or with my wife. It makes me think that I didn’t appreciate those days enough when I had them… Alas, my reality is different now, but more meaningful, and abundant of love. Which is why when my wonderful wife turns around and tells me that I should take a couple of hours for myself to do what I like, I thank her and jump at the opportunity. Fortunately, my wife is amazing and offers this on a weekly basis, when my 5 year old goes to his Saturday french school. The twins stay home with her, have a nap, and I like to think that she gets that time to rest up too… That’s not always the case though.
AndreIt was Friday afternoon, and unlike most Fridays, I was in the office and trying to wrap up a week of work. My wife, Paulina, was at home with the twins (a reminder, these little dudes are 18 months old), and texted me just as I was about to leave the office to inform me that they had somehow climbed their way into a ‘blocked out’ zone of the living room, found their way to the Wi-Fi router, and literally pulled the fibre optic cable out of the wall socket… “where does this cable go? The internet is broken!”. Paulina had run to the restroom for all of 30 seconds and the twins clearly took advantage of her absence and concocted a devilish plan to break the damn internet.
AndreI’ve read it countless times in self-help books, heard it as many times from coaches and mindset gurus… and now, like a parrot I suppose, I’m repeating it: TAKE SOME ACTION ALREADY. Um, yeah, I see you there, shaking your head… I appreciate it’s not some newly discovered revelation I can take any credit for whatsoever, and I’ve certainly done my best to live up to this over the last few years, but let’s be frank – it’s frickin’ difficult. Getting started on anything that takes work, especially when we have no idea of what the outcome might be, is incredibly daunting. It is so daunting that we’ve become masters at avoiding getting started altogether, myself included. Here’s the thing, we all have a gifted talent for some things, but this only serves us a short while, because if we want to get any better at it, better than what we’re naturally predisposed with to achieve effortlessly, we have to work hard at it. For many of us, that’s a problem. Why?
AndreI spend way too much time caring about what others think of me. When I really think about it, a lot of what I do in my day to day is influenced by how I think I might come across to other people. I don’t think this is unique to me, I’d bet my bottom dollar that you, dear reader, are also affected in this way. That we ALL are. I was watching my 5 year old boy play on his own this morning. I took him out to the park with our dog, and he decided to run around the forest and invent a game for himself. I’m not sure what the game was about, but I could tell it was a lot of fun. The game involved pretending to cook himself a meal (or a magic potion) in a pile of branches and leaves he’d gathered (his cauldron), and running back and forth to this spot from his living area (or a tent as he so called it, which in reality was just a slightly darker and secluded area amongst the trees, that to me resembled the perfect spot to hide and pee when we’ve run out of options). I could hear him talking to himself and his imaginary counterparts, and I’ve got to say, it didn’t make a ton of sense. I found myself watching from afar, with a big smile on my face. It made me happy to see him let himself simply be – without a care in the world. He knew I could see and hear him, but in no way did my presence (or anyone else’s) influence him, or make him feel exposed. At no point did he think that he should be quieter, or not speak in ‘that baby voice’ for fear of being embarrassed, or abandon his game altogether to do something more ‘normal and less weird’. Nope. My little guy was perfectly happy being who he wanted to be in that exact moment, and it made me incredibly proud.
AndreGET BUZZY, STAY BUSY WHY CONSISTENCY AND TRIAL & ERROR ARE THE KEYS TO PROGRESS Remember that time, maybe not so long ago, when you felt really good about a brilliant idea you had, got yourself all hyped up, envisioned it fully, thought about it a bit more, got super excited at the prospect of it becoming reality, discussed it with your friends and family, maybe sat down to design a logo, maybe drafted a short business plan, Googled the competition, kept adding great layers to the idea, felt butterflies in your stomach whenever you spoke about it and the adrenaline flowing as you pictured how big of a success it might all be one day, needed to catch your breath whenever you described it to others… and finally realised how much work it would all take, and gradually DECIDED and BELIEVED that you weren’t cut out for it, that you couldn’t possibly be worthy of such a dream, that you didn’t have the right experience, persuaded yourself that it wasn’t such a great idea after all, that it was just too damn risky… and let it just slip away?
